Your aging grandmother refuses to stop driving. Your elderly father fell last week but still wants to live on his own. Your mother is determined to stay in her own house rather than move to an assisted living facility. Nobody likes change.
The transition from independence to assisted living is one of the most difficult changes people face during their lives. Elderly parents and grandparents tend to see their independent abilities – living on their own and driving – as part of their identities, making it hard for them to agree to assisted living, even when they know it is best for their health and their families.
As frustrating as this time can be, you still love your family and want to make the best decision.
Take These Actions When Your Loved One is Resisting Assisted Living
Do Your Homework
- Research your local assisted living homes.
- Schedule a tour at each home that may fit your loved one.
- Visit the assisted living facility at its busiest times so that you can see how the staff handle stress.
- Choose your favorites and read online reviews of those homes.
- Talk to your loved one only after doing your homework!
Timing Is Everything
Wait for a day when your loved one seems more receptive, such as when they mention how lonely it is to live alone or how exhausting it is to clean or go grocery shopping. Explain that you’re concerned about how living alone is affecting their health and safety. Use how much you care as the basis for your conversation.
Discuss The Gains
Emphasize the benefits of an assisted living home. Mention a co-worker or family friend’s positive experiences with assisted living. Talk about the activities, the entertaining game nights and musical theaters, pet visits, shared meals, and opportunities to exercise with new friends. Explain that assisted living is not a prison, as many elderly imagine.
Listen To Their Fears
Listen to your loved vent their fears about this change. Don’t brush away their worries or interrupt them with how wonderful assisted living will be. Be patient and discuss the fears and worries that may stop them from accepting this change.
Plan Patiently, Purposefully, And Wisely
Don’t give up if your loved one says no on the first try.
- As time passes, when they talk to you about activities being tiring, mention the benefits of assisted living.
- Don’t wait until after an emergency, like a serious illness or a fall.
- Use positive conversations to make this transition more pleasant for everyone.
- Plan to visit a home together, and take a list of questions.
- Stay for a meal to taste the food.
- Introduce your loved one to residents, the home manager, and others; social connections make it easier to accept change.
Do you still have more questions about how to handle this transition with your loved one? Contact us for more information about choosing a proper assisted living facility.